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Tag Archives: pissed off

In no particular order, I honor you with 28 things and/or people that, in the nature of the Seinfeldian observational pet-peeve, genuinely piss me off. Some more than others. I list 28 as an homage to our shortest month, which is now at an end.

  1. The line in that Steve Miller Band song, Fly Like an Eagle, that says, “want to shoe the children / with no shoes on their feet.” The word “shoe” is just such a bad word choice, especially when spoken, since it sounds as though one would want to “shoo” or drive away children in need. Not to mention the fact that the word itself isn’t even a legitimate verb. Also, not that Steve Miller Band ever delighted me lyrically or musically – that lyric, in particular, has always pissed me off
  2. People who rate their level of certainty in percentage form. Maybe I’m wrong (I’m not, and 100% of dictionaries will agree), but “certain” can only mean 100%. As in, I’m am (100%) certain, anyone who suggests they are merely 90% certain is 100% retarded and understands 0% of the definition of the word, “certain.”
  3. That 3-year period in the late Nineties where every up-and-coming band had to cover a song that was a hit in the Eighties. “Faith” sucked in 1988 when George Michael did it, why would anyone think it would be any better when Limp Bizkit did it?
  4. Going Green has become such a fad, yet Ralph Nader is still a political Nobody. A question mark was meant to follow that statement, but I’m conserving energy by not holding down the shift-key while simultaneously pressing another key.
  5. People who tout the sanctity of marriage, in regards to same-sex marriage. “Divorce is okay, but if you’ve both got weiners, ‘No way!'” I would venture to say that nothing is more destructive to the sanctity of marriage than the dissolution of a marriage…
  6. The casual disregard of all traffic laws when grocery shopping. I know you need to analyze in depth which cheese might be right for you, but would you stop to read road signs while turning your car at an angle so it blocks all traffic?
  7. The entire Huey Lewis catalogue.
  8. Guys who find it necessary to announce their intention to partake in a bodily function. I don’t really need to know what you plan on doing to the toilet.
  9. Eating while driving. I guess some people just don’t have the time to stop and eat their 3-dollar cheeseburger.
  10. The Avatar buzz that wrapped the country around its finger for longer than two months. If I made a movie that was mentioned in every single news segment, it might turn a profit, too.
  11. People who think a president can fix an economy that they broke.
  12. The concept of the Manifest Destiny…
  13. The Flaming Lips covering Dark Side of the Moon. I’ve heard a lot of pieces of shit, in my time here on Earth. That album is one of those pieces of shit. The remake, that is. The Pink Floyd version is not a piece of shit.
  14. Public phone calls. Seriously, what has happened in the past 12 years to cause everyone to need to be on their cell phones at all times? Idly chatting while you drive, or shop, or masturbate is not multitasking – it’s a mismanagement of your time. Get your shit together. I don’t want to over-hear a one-sided conversation, because I will pay attention, it will distract me, and I will have no idea what’s being said on the other end.
  15. Thirteen to go. This list is starting to piss me off.
  16. The seemingly acceptable belief that screaming obscenities at your child in public is not damaging in the least. But spanking them? That’s abuse.
  17. Song-syncs. I don’t really care what Britney Spears’ “Oops I did it again” might sound like when its vocals are laid over the music to “Semi-Charmed Life.” No one should care – it’s stupid. The Grey Album can go fuck itself.
  18. People who have something just slightly wrong with their voice. It’s not enough that you can pinpoint the exact condition, but something is definitely awry. Does she have a lisp? Is she retarded? Does she have a forked tongue? Something…not…right.
  19. People who, when asked what kind of music they listen to, say, “I like everything.” No. No, you don’t. Don’t make me prove it.
  20. Heath Ledger winning best supporting actor for The Dark Knight over Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt still pisses me off.